Before I die, I want to know the Face of God
This essay was originally published on the Reform Judaism blog on September 2, 2015.
I was inspired to write this poem after reading Rabbi Eliezer’s teaching in Pirkei Avot that advises us that because it is not possible to repent one day before we die – because we don’t know when that will be – we should repent daily, and live always in a state of repentance.
The poem – together with the accompanying photograph, which I took in Phoenix, AZ, during a partial solar eclipse on October 23, 2014 – will be on display as part of Temple Chai’s Selichot art exhibit, which is modeled after Before I Die…, an interactive communal project that began in New Orleans in 2011 and has been replicated in 70 countries.
Every day, I see the Face of the Sun.
Before I die, I want to know the Face of God.
The Face of God is like the Face of the Sun.
The Face of God is not like the Face of the Sun.
The Sun is 93 million miles away, its light and warmth are everywhere.
God is both far away and nearby at the same time.
The Sun nurtures us, yet does not know we exist.
God nurtures us and God created us.
Astronomers and physicists struggle to understand the Sun.
Rabbis and philosophers struggle to understand God.
To touch the Sun would be to die instantly.
We touch God and God touches us every day.
To stare directly at the Sun without protective lenses is to risk blindness.
Exodus 33:20: God says “You will not be able to see My Face, for man shall not see Me and live.”
The Sun has existed for billions of years and will exist for billions more.
God has always existed and always will exist.
The Sun is so bright it washes away the stars.
God’s light, the Shechinah, illuminates the deepest darkness.
The Sun warms the Earth even at night when we do not see.
God warms our souls even when we do not believe.
The Sun’s light consists of photons, which are simultaneously particles and waves.
God’s light of creation, the ohr ein sof, is limitless spiritual energy.
The Sun appears unchanging yet sunspots and flares show that it does change.
God appears unchanging yet Torah teaches that God does change.
The Sun exists through the tension between gravity and nuclear fusion.
God exists because God exists.
I always know that the Sun exists.
Some days, I am not sure that God exists.
The Sun’s energy comes from hydrogen fusing into helium.
The Sun’s energy comes from God.
Life is impossible without the Sun.
Life is unimaginable without God.
With the right camera and filters, I can photograph the Sun.
With the right teachers, I can study God and be enlightened.
Every day, I can see the Face of the Sun.
Before I die, I want to know the Face of God.
