Network Solutions has addressed my every need!

My every need fulfilled — that’s what Network Solutions is promising!

I’ve heard it said that “friends don’t let friends use Network Solutions,” but I’ve persisted in using them for most of my domain-registry needs. The main reason is inertia. While NetSol’s registry services are more expensive than some of their competitors, and they drive me crazy with their non-stop attempts to up-sell me services I don’t need, technologically they’ve been stable and reliable.

Imagine my delight when I received an email from them claiming “every need addressed.” Do you find this as funny as I do? I love that this message, which arrived on July 30, is talking about things happening “on or around August 1.” What, they don’t know their own release schedule two days in advance?

The subject line is “We’re Changing: Check Out the New Network Solutions,” and it leads with a big headline saying “You Spoke. We Listened.” Ooh, there’s a new logo! Here’s what they say:

In recent months, we’ve asked you to tell us how we can better serve your needs and improve the products and services that we provide. We‘ve received an overwhelming amount of valuable feedback which is driving a reinvention of our company.

On or around August 1, 2009, much of the hard work we’ve been doing to improve your overall Network Solutions® experience will be on full display. Here is a sneak peek of what to expect:

• Every need addressed. We’ve re-engineered and simplified our products and services to better meet your specific needs.

• Find what’s right for you. The new networksolutions.com has been restructured to give you control over how you browse—whether you’re an individual, business owner, designer or developer.

• Get the guidance you need, when you need it. We’ve developed more robust support and educational tools to help you start and grow your business online. Plus, we’ve enhanced our community websites so that you can freely interact and learn from others just like you.

These changes are just the start of a number of improvements designed to better serve you which you’ll be hearing more about in the coming weeks and months.

Do these changes include lower prices? That’s what I really need.

Here’s a good part. There’s a shaded box that says:

Not only are we sporting a new look, enhancing our products, and offering even more services to help you succeed online – we will continue to offer 24/7 Support, from a real person, online or over the phone!*

And then the small print.

* 24/7 support is not available for our Ecommerce products and Online Marketing services. The hours of customer support for our Ecommerce products and Online Marketing services are 8am – 8pm CST, Monday through Friday.

Whee.